Doug

Story inspired by a discovery my group made in the SVA Gallery

Doug was a raccoon with big plans. Most raccoons dream of an unguarded dumpster. Doug dreamed of art.

One night he slipped into a gallery through a vent and found the most important thing in the room. It stood in the corner: a tall figure in a red cape and a rubber face, holding wooden rifles, an axe, and for some reason a canoe paddle. Doug didn’t understand it at all, so he figured it must be very good art. He climbed up next to the rubber face, put on a red baseball cap he found lying nearby, and held perfectly still.

By morning, Doug was part of the piece. Visitors nodded thoughtfully at him. A critic wrote that the raccoon “really ties the whole thing together,” and Doug, who had never tied anything together in his life, accepted the compliment.

When the gallery put up a sign that said PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH, Doug wasn’t sure if it was there to protect the art from the people or the people from him. He kept the hat either way.

Story told in collaboration with Claude.